FRESHMAN YEAR ROOMMATE
I feel like I’m asking someone to marry me when I ask someone to be my roommate. Life choices are hard.
My roommate is leaving, my roommate is leaving, my roommate is leaving..(repeat until eternity)
It’s shut the fuck up o’clock.
MY ROOMMATES ARE GONE I CAN GO TO SLEEP IN THE QUIET AND WAKE UP TO MUSIC
Soooo over it.
This is my cue to go home.
No, don’t bother rinsing off shit. Just let it get congealed nice and hard on there. Prick.
Step 1: Get very, very drunk. Like gratuitously drunk.
Step 2: Stumble into your room. Be drunk.
Step 3: Notice girl in roommate’s bed. Ask if it’s the same girl he slept with last weekend.
Step 4: Pass out on your bed. Let the song of your people be known to the two of them by your snoring.
Step 5: Wake up with an immense hangover and an angry roommate.
I don’t know why I find this so funny. ahaha